Op-Ed: Empowering Black Men — Reclaiming Our Health, Rewriting Our Legacy

by Kenneth Braswell, CEO, Fathers Incorporated

Every morning, millions of Black men across America wake up carrying invisible burdens — stresses, stigmas, and silent pains that many of us learned to ignore early on. Growing up, we were told, directly or indirectly, that our worth lay in our resilience, strength in silence. Health, especially mental and emotional health, was often pushed aside, seen as a sign of weakness. But what if I told you that neglecting our health isn’t a strength but one of the most selfish acts we could commit against those who love us most?

Recently, I joined Dr. David Miller, Dr. Jeffery Shears, Danielle Shears, and Dr. Cassandra Bolar for an essential conversation at the Moynihan Institute for Fatherhood Research and Policy — a webinar dedicated to challenging the status quo and igniting a health revolution among Black men.

As I shared my personal story about confronting severe dental neglect, I was reminded of the profound simplicity and power of preventive care. “It only takes about seven minutes a day to take care of your teeth,” my dentist told me, a statement that shook me deeply. How many aspects of our lives could drastically improve with just a few minutes of intentional care daily? This revelation prompted me to emphasize one critical truth: “Not taking care of yourself, particularly when you have children and family, is the most selfish act you can engage in.”

Danielle Shears offered an empowering challenge to redefine how we view our health and healthcare. With sobering clarity, she pointed out, “We have a sick care system, not a healthcare system. Your health must be managed outside the doctor’s office.” This statement alone demands reflection. It calls on each of us to take charge, not merely be passive recipients of medications and diagnoses. Danielle provided tangible steps: “Move your body daily, understand your health numbers, build your healthcare team, and advocate fiercely for yourself.”

In a powerful exploration of genetics, Danielle reminded us that our health destiny isn’t predetermined: “Just because you think diabetes runs in your family doesn’t mean it has to run through you.” She challenged us to reject complacency, inspiring us to disrupt unhealthy generational patterns. “Self-care is how you take your power back,” she affirmed, a mantra I believe should echo in every Black household.

The conversation took a profoundly introspective turn when Dr. Cassandra Bolar spoke about relationships. Her insights hit home: “Healthy relationships are a matter of life and death.” How we manage conflict, express empathy, and navigate intimacy shapes not only our emotional well-being but our physical health, too. She wisely urged us, “Attack the issue, not the person,” and highlighted empathy as the foundation of meaningful connections. “Relationships bring meaning to our lives; they give us value, purpose, and happiness,” she declared.

Dr. Bolar also advocated fiercely for mental wellness, emphasizing therapy as an invaluable resource rather than a sign of weakness. She directed us toward culturally competent resources, such as Therapy for Black Men, to help us find the healing we need and deserve.

Throughout the webinar, one theme emerged with clarity: legacy. As I reflected, I shared my most heartfelt motivation: “I want my son to speak about me in present tense, not past tense.” It is this powerful desire — to be actively present, to influence, guide, and celebrate life with our children — that compels us toward better health choices.

The call to action for all of us is urgent, clear, and achievable:

• Schedule routine check-ups and screenings.
• Prioritize mental wellness by seeking culturally competent support.
• Nurture and invest in your closest relationships; they are your lifelines.
• Reject myths that have trapped us in cycles of neglect and silence.

Men, it’s time we lead by example, demonstrating to our children, our communities, and most importantly, ourselves, that strength isn’t defined by silent suffering but by courageous self-care. Danielle summed it up best: “If you didn’t come from a healthy family, make sure a healthy family comes from you.”

Let us embrace the profound truth that our health is our most valuable legacy. It’s time we reclaim it. Let this moment, this conversation, mark the turning point. Let’s boldly rewrite the narrative of Black men’s health. Our families, communities, and future generations are counting on us. Let’s not disappoint them.

Kenneth Braswell is a nationally recognized leader in the responsible fatherhood movement, author of several acclaimed books including When the Tear Won’t Fall, Strength of the Father, Kwesi and the Ogre, and Too Seasoned to Care. He is the CEO of Fathers Incorporated and host of the I Am Dad Podcast.